BTO - I still remember vividly the day my teacher traveled more than a hundred kilometers to visit my family. It was the cold season, late in the twelfth lunar month of 2012; the sky was overcast and a cold wind kept blowing…

I was born in the countryside of Tiên Thắng commune, Tiên Lãng district, Hải Phòng. As a farmer's child I was small and skinny… When my teacher met me and saw my sad eyes, his heart went out to me.

Holding a book in his hands, “the autobiography The Desire to Live, by Hồng Công”, he grew wistful and emotional, and told me in a choked voice:

“A student of mine, Nguyễn Hồng Công, also had very special circumstances. Her father was a fallen soldier, and she lived with her stepfather and her mother. Sadly, she carried a deadly illness, “leukemia”. Each day Công could only do light work; out of love for her mother and stepfather, she decided to go to Hanoi to earn a living. The little money she earned she saved for her weekly blood transfusions at Bạch Mai Hospital. Despite the pain, she found the strength to keep living and keep hoping.

Once she asked me: “Can I write stories and poems?”

I was very surprised, then said: “Of course you can write. Keep trying.”

In the end, her autobiography “The Desire to Live and the Smile Left Behind” was printed as a book.

When I first received Công's manuscript, I was quite upset. Together with some people from the world of literature and journalism, I helped her revise it: her sentence structure, her themes… Công seemed to truly love studying literature and writing poetry. Her simplest dream was to be loved and to live in the warmth of her own family. The words she wrote are a little hard to follow, but they bring tears to anyone who reads the story of Công's life. Every word of it is the truth about her!”

…Having said that, my teacher broke into tears.

“Your circumstances are like Hồng Công's, but you write better than she did. I have lost that student; only her smile remains, forever.”

My hands trembling, I took the book. Somehow, at that moment, so many dreams and youthful ambitions began to flicker in my heart.

“At next year's writing camp there will be 30 writers, and you will be the youngest. Keep going! I believe you can do it, and Hồng Công would have wanted that too. Leave the past behind and step into a new future. You must have a new life; you are young and have a long future ahead of you. Believe in yourself.” – my teacher looked at me with kindness and generosity.

That day, all I could do was cry, as I could no longer hold back the feelings in my heart. The small gift my teacher gave me was a computer. At first I didn't like it, because I was used to writing on paper, and learning to type a few words on the computer was really hard. I kept complaining that it was “hard”, that “I can't learn this…” Each time he received a message from me, he would remind me: “You have to keep trying and be persistent. Grind an iron bar long enough and it becomes a needle.”

Eventually, I no longer felt uncomfortable sitting in front of that computer.

I began writing the first lines about my own life.

“Teacher, can I write this novel about my childhood and my life?”

“Write about the things in your life, with your own true feelings. You can do it.”

And the happiest day, the one I had been waiting for most, finally came: “On 1/4/2013 I went to the Ministry of Public Security's writing camp for the first time. My eyes were full of faith and love for my new dream, and I could still hear, somewhere, my teacher's voice and his kind smile: “You will have a new life. Keep going!”

The teacher of my life: Mr. Đặng Vương Hưng.

I can never forget my teacher's face that time he met my family. His eyes were sad, yet full of joy and happiness too. He hoped that a student like me would grow up and rise above the misfortunes of life. The novel I am writing is about my life, about Hồng Công, about my teacher, and about the kind-hearted people in this world.

Ngô Thị Học